The Westering Hills

I’m doing this at work and I don’t like to do this at work, so I’ll make it snappy:

1. Thanks for all the sympathy remarks, y’all. In the grand scheme of things, us not being able to go to Ireland is probably a stupid thing to be upset about, considering what so many other people in the world are going through. The whole “will Barrett get laid off any day now?” scenario is more upsetting. We’ll manage if it happens, though.

2. I was not allowed to sell, transfer, or get cash back on our plane tickets. However, we did get credit good for one year, so I now have $1200 worth of Continental Airline credit to use up by the end of March 2009. So it’s not a total loss. Anyone want a visitor?

3. I’m now going to be taking just a week off starting May 19th and staying at home, puttering around the house, sleeping in, annoying the cats, and sowing flower seeds. This year, I’ve decided to concentrate on flowers around the house instead of just vegetables. I need some pretty in the backyard.

Anyone want to buy a $1200 non-refundable plane ticket to Ireland off of me? What about two of them?

. . . . . . .

After six amazing years of Barrett’s workplace letting him take time off of work to tour and sometimes vacation, the gavel has been slammed down. Times are tough, management has changed hands and style, and no more may Barrett take extra time off. In fact, he might be laid off; as I said, times are tough, especially for the small employer. The initial disappointment of having to cancel our trip to Ireland has now given way to fear and worry about an uncertain financial future in our household.

This has been such a bad last few days all around, with sadness and hurt and frustration permeating not only our world, but the worlds of friends and family around us. It’s been hard to keep a stiff upper lip today. I’m very tired. Barrett and I are going to watch a kung fu movie and then, I’m going to bed.

Time: 12:46am. Just as an update: Friday, I got my braces. Saturday, Anne came to spend the night and I got two goldfish that I named Minkon and Nesbitt. No school tomorrow because of Labor Day! “She’s Got a Way” by Billy Joel is on–mmm, don’t know what it is. I hate my cursive. I hate my cursive! I like Dave Morgan! Does he like me? Tune in tomorrow! Well, I don’t think I have done much pertaining to my resolutions. Let’s see:

- I haven’t saved any money, only $1.50
- I AM growing my nails but cuticles are bad
- I haven’t been ignoring my sisters although I am trying hard
- I guess I am being nicer to Mom
- and I only weigh 100 lbs!

It’s fucking SNOWING right now. In Seattle. In late April. FUCKING SNOWING!

This was last week:

This is today:

Sigh.

January birthday trip to Portland, our hotel room at night:

Another wall of the hotel room and me looking surprised:

We saw one of my favorite singer/songwriters, Pete Krebs, when we were there, playing with his jazz combo at the Laurelthirst Pub:

Some very cool wall painting story about a cat, somewhere in Europe–Netherlands maybe?–when Barrett was on tour:

Colin climbing into an empty salad bowl as we were on our way out the door to the coast last weekend:

Our dog-in-law on the beach at Kalaloch last weekend:

Brick patio project that we worked on yesterday, the first really nice summer-ish day of the year:

That’s me, pounding mortar off of the salvaged bricks with a hammer, while Barrett does the hard work of laying the bricks and spreading the gravel & sand:

You all are so smart! How did you ever figure out that I’m going to Ireland?!

Yes, it is true, after dreaming of traveling to Ireland for the past 25 years, I’m finally doing it. We’re making it happen. We have absolutely no funds to do this whatsoever, but I’m tired of telling myself that I can’t afford it. You know what? I’m never going to be able to afford it. So I may as well just go!

Barrett’s band, Kinski, is playing the Primavera Festival in Barcelona, Spain, the last weekend in May. On Sunday, June 1, Barrett will fly up to Dublin and meet me at the airport. After that, exploration and Guinness galore until we leave on June 10! We have not discussed our agenda yet, haven’t rented a car or booked any B&B rooms, nothing. We’re still savoring the idea of the vacation itself right now. But I realize we need to get a move on and start planning our agenda. Eeeeee!

Not too much happening in real life, which is why I took the break from blogging. The cats continue to lounge around the house contributing nothing towards their room and board. I continue to cook dinners and read on the couch. Barrett continues being the household grillmaster and resident drummer. My new job continues its goodness. And you all continue to blog, which is great, since it takes the pressure off of me to do it! So, thanks for that.

Soon, soon, I promise. Here are some photos that are a hint of some news I will share very soon:

So yeah, in case you haven’t already figured it out, I’m taking a blogging break. Just don’t got much to say. I’ve been sick and also found out something about a loved one from many years ago that I can’t stop thinking about. I might write a post about it but for now, I’m still a touch too melancholy to do it at the present.

I am, however, still keeping up reading all of YOUR blogs, and commenting, so I’m not completely out of the human race! I’ve just stopped for a little cup of water on the sidelines until I can catch my breath and forge ahead. Until then.

Here’s something most of you probably don’t know about me: I once had a lisp. It was an “s” lisp, one of the most common lisps. I do not have a lisp anymore.

The history of my lisp, according to my mom, originates with me imitating my older twin sisters. They both had lisps and I, the worshipful younger sister, imitated their speech patterns. Thing is, they went to speech therapy and/or grew out of it (don’t know which) but I kept on. My “s” lisp wasn’t your typical Cindy Brady-type lisp–it was my own unique brand in which I flattened my entire tongue over my bottom teeth and the roof of my mouth hit my tongue. It’s a very reptilian sound, come to think of it, and I’m amazed that I can still reproduce it after all these years.

After we moved to the city of Oakwood in 5th grade (and was thus uprooted from my BFF Anne), my mom enrolled me in the speech therapy program in the elementary school. I went rather reluctantly. I was embarrassed by my lisp but also protective of it at the same time; I know it sounds weird but as an increasingly-surly pre-teen, I didn’t welcome any interference by adults into the way I spoke.

I was in speech therapy for all of 6th grade. I remember vividly how I was taught to make the proper “s” sound and it is simple & ingenious: make the “t” sound–t, t, t, t, t–and slowly progress to an “s” sound–t, t, tch, tch, sch, sch, s, s, s. It worked. I could finally make a proper “s” sound and with relative ease. All I had to do now was actually use it in real life. That was the tough part. By making a different “s” sound, by actually TALKING DIFFERENTLY than I had my whole life? Scary. What if it didn’t work? What if, god forbid, it drew attention and singled me out. I wasn’t sure how and when to put the plan into place.

The day I chose to finally do it was the day that our friend Matt’s dog, Gus, escaped his house. Matt called our house and enlisted the three of us to come over and look for Gus, poor dopey Gus, who was not an outside dog and thrived on coddling. We sped over and spread out in the neighborhood. I was with one of my sisters and decided that this, THIS, was the perfect moment to unveil my new “s”:

“GU-U-U-U-S-S-S-S!” I yelled. One of my sisters (no, doesn’t matter which one it was, I am not upset now–we were all young and unthinking at times back in those days) looked at me and said, “That sounds weird.” I was devastated. I had almost no self-confidence then and that was my biggest fear, that I would sound odd. I shrunk back into myself and reverted to my lisp.

I don’t remember much after that except that a few months later, when I was in 7th grade, my lisp was gone. I must’ve worked at it all summer in order to be a different person by the time I entered junior high.

I have great empathy for those who have lisps or stammers. I know how hard it is to overcome such an obstacle and what work goes into it. I ask you, my friends, what great obstacles have you hurdled in your life, be it a lisp or acne or self-esteem or whatever you wish to share?